Moshe Goldberg was heading out of the Synagogue one day, and as always Rabbi Mendel was standing at the door, shaking hands as the congregation departed.

The rabbi grabbed Moshe by the hand, pulled him aside and whispered these words at him: "You need to join the Army of God!"

Moshe replied: "I'm already in the Army of God, Rabbi."

The rabbi questioned: "How come I don't see you except for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur?”

Moshe whispered back: "I'm in the secret service."

I hope services went OK on campus or wherever you went. I expect many will come home for Yom Kippur and look forward to seeing you then.

The High Holidays build on the image of God judging us on Rosh Hashanah and sealing the verdict on Yom Kippur. I share with you this cute story set in a human court.   Rabbi Bill Rudolph

 

Shmuel had a bad car accident involving a large truck. Weeks later,in court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Shmuel.  "Didn't you  say, at the scene of the accident, 'I,m fine?'" asked the lawyer. Shmuel responded, "Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I just put my dog Moishele into the ..." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question.  "Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"  Shmuel said, "Vell, I just got Moishele into the car and vas driving down the road..." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."   But by this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Shmuel's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his dog Moishele." Shmuel thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Vell, like I vas saying, I just loaded Moishele, my lovely hundteleh (dog), into the car and vas driving down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right on the side. I vas thrown into the ditch and Moishele vas thrown into the other ditch. I vas hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I heard Moishele moaning and groaning. I knew he vas in terrible shape just by his groans. Den a Highway Patrolman came along. He could hear Moishele moaning and groaning so he vent over to him. After he looked at him, and saw vat terrible condition Moishele was in, he took out his gun and shoots him between the eyes. Den the Patrolman comes across the road, gun still in hand, looks at me and says, "How are you feeling?"  "Nu, Judge, vat would you have said?